Q: Cynthia,
I just don't understand... I tried to have a spoon bending party with my friends, because there was this woman in my wholistic healing class that I was trying to impress. All of your instructions were followed completely to the last detail. Even by intimidation, my spoon wouldn't bend. I threatened it, telling it that I would tie it to a train track, but nothing. I felt like a fool. The girl now hates me, and refuses to see me ever again. I had to cancel my Kenny G Tickets. My life is worthless. Please, please, PLEASE tell me what went wrong.
Sincerely yours,
-- George

A: Dear George,
I empathize with your frustration and disappointment! Spoon-bending is something that works best for new groups when there is a LOT of psychokinetic energy present in the room, and when the majority of those present are genuinely open-minded to seeing something startlingly new. The ideal group for a spoon-bending party is thus one that includes children and young adults in a noisy, fun, boisterous atmosphere -- and the more, the merrier. In other words, if your spoon-bending party has more of the energy of a romantic dinner for two, you're much less likely to see successful results than if your party resembles a children's birthday party or circus. If a woman hates you and refuses to see you ever again simply because a spoon-bending party didn't work out as hoped, you're likely much better off without her.
lots of love,
-- Cynthia