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Listening to My Future Self
by Cynthia Sue Larson
November 18, 2000

I was running errands around town on one sunny morning this November, when I got the distinct impression that my future self was with me, trying to get my attention. I asked my future self,

and got the clear feeling my future self was saying,

My first inclination was to resist this suggestion, feeling the burden of all the little tasks I needed to complete and could best accomplish while my young ones were away at school. My future self continued,

More than simply hearing the words this time, I felt waves of longing and sadness come over me, as if I was years older and was wishing I had spent more leisure hours with my girls at their lunch recess while they were still little. I felt such intense sorrow that tears began to run down my cheeks. I blinked them back and parked my car, deciding that my future self was right... and she knows how to play hard ball!

I walked inside the school as if it were the first time I'd been there in many years. I noticed rooms I'd never noticed in all the times I'd hurried through before, and strolled outside to the playground. It felt so different to be here at school for no particular reason, other than to see my children. It felt good to know that this was enough... in fact, perhaps it was all that really mattered.

I stood alongside another mother who was waiting to bring lunch to her son, and we watched the kindergardeners finish eating their lunch. The other mother and I chatted for a few minutes before our children came outside. My youngest daughter came running over to hug me, and I almost cried again. I was still feeling the emotional tug from my future self, like the Ghost of Christmas Future, and sat down right next to her as she ate. We then went to the play structure together, and I watched her play with her friend.

A short while later, my older daughter came out for lunch. When she was finished eating, I joined her for some games of four square, and a walk around a grassy field. Both my daughters were delighted to have me with them... and my heart felt as if it had been opened and warmed by the advice from my future self. I know that I'll stop by to spend lunch with my daughters again... and I know that what Fred Alan Wolf says in his excellent book MIND INTO MATTER is true... information really does flow from the future to the present. We can hear it when we listen with our hearts.

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